REPORT: McCoy Benched for Regular Season Finale

NEW YORK — With a playoff berth at stake and his team on the cusp, coach Brian Ruddock has decided to bench quarterback Colt McCoy in the regular season finale of his fantasy football league. Rex Grossman of the Washington Redskins will take McCoy’s place in the “QB2” slot behind franchise fixture Aaron Rodgers.

“Look,” said Ruddock, head coach of [team name redacted], “I love Colt. He’s a tough kid. He works hard. And he’s got beautiful blue eyes. But I think Grossman gives us the best chance to win.”

Ruddock cited a fearsome Pittsburgh pass rush and Cleveland’s porous offensive line as the primary factors behind his decision. McCoy has taken a beating under center, and the Browns have dropped a league leading 35 passes this year. Additionally, the journeyman Grossman faces off against the 31st ranked pass defense of the New England Patriots this week.

Asked about McCoy’s chances of starting in future weeks, Ruddock was cautiously optimistic. “Colt is only one Rex Grossman DUI away from getting back in there,” he said. “And the Packers, for all intents and purposes, clinched their division in Week 3,  so Rodgers may not even play.”

Also in jeopardy could be McCoy’s place on the team next season. The league, “Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi”, allows owners to keep up to three players from the previous season. ESPN draft analyst Mel Kiper Jr. initially labeled McCoy as a “steal” in the  tenth round as a potential keeper at quarterback. Now, the former Texas standout now finds himself in contention with A.J. Green and Jordy Nelson for a roster spot.

“We’ll see how it plays out,” said Ruddock. “If for no other reason, I may start Colt just to annoy [fellow owner] Brendan.”

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